![]() “Parents need to calmly show empathy about their awkward children’s tendency to become overwhelmed by social situations and find ways to coach their reluctant children about social scripts that help them fit in seamlessly to social situations,” he writes. While awkward children may subconsciously say or do things that others will interpret negatively-such as correcting people’s grammar or strictly adhering to rules and routines (which helps them to function well, but can be perceived as inflexible)-parents can act as coaches, helping to point children to behaviors that will ease their social interactions. Tashiro gives helpful advice to parents of awkward children. And, recognizing that social faux pas happen in life and aren’t the end of the world can also aid socially awkward people in moving past them.Īwkward: The Science of Why We're Socially Awkward and Why That's Awesome (William Morrow, 2017, 288 pages) In addition, he suggests that awkward people can be taught to pay attention to social cues like eye contact during conversations, and not interrupt when someone else is speaking. Even awkward people can learn to stop talking and ask questions to further the conversation, he suggests. “When you show your genuine interest in what others have to say, the deeper message you send is that you are invested in their well-being,” he writes. But Tashiro has ideas of how awkward people can feel more at ease in social situations, including cultivating curiosity and worrying less about being clever. This is not only difficult and draining for them it can also cause anxiety, which is probably why awkward people sometimes choose to withdraw from social contact altogether.Ĭlearly, this is a problem, given the importance of social contact in a happy, healthy life. Neuroscience research suggests that awkward people-who are somewhat similar to people with “high-functioning autism” or Asperger’s Syndrome-have less activity in their “ social brains” and require extra cognitive effort when interpreting social cues. The reasons for this difference lie in the brain. This means that they might spend hours poring over spec sheets for their computer, but miss the subtle cues-like foot-tapping or arm-crossing-that let them know someone is bored or impatient. ![]() According to Tashiro, awkward people tend to see things differently, shining a spotlight of attention on parts of their perceptual world that others tend to look past.
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